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"Im Just On The Side Loving You Each And Every Step You Take .... Dont Mind Me ... Im Just A Stupid Fool"

Wee!! No Work Today... Gunbound And Sleep Is All I Will Do hehe ...

Today Also Marks The 40th Day That My Nephew Died ... We Shall Go To Church To Pay Tribute And Pray ...

For You,

Why Bother To Think About What Others Say About This And That? Why Are You So Affected? Why Think Of What Im Going Thru? I Dont Know Either But One Thing I Know ... Im Moving On Yet Your Still The One My Heart Yearns ... Some May Say "Its Impossible To Do" But That Is What I See And Feel. I Still Love You Though I Sit Quietly At My Corner Now, So Not To Ruin Things For You. Your Free For You Havent Been Mine... Dont Think Of Complicated Things.

Ive Said It Before Ive Chosen This And You Dont Anything To Do With It. Dont Put Guilt In Yourself.

From Me.

Last Thursday, mid afternoon, I collapse in my cubicle. I recovered at the office clinic. After that I just went home and took a rest just as the office doctor said I must do.

The other day my mom insisted that I should visit the family doctor. So I went to Medical City, the family doctor took several exams, from blood test and some eye test (the one that the doctor takes a look in your eyes and say whats your sicknees blah blah blah). I didnt know my blood test results but the eye test ... the doctor just said "you got flowery eyes" (at first I thought it was just a compliment hehe), and it is bad. And it took me like the whole day, thats why Im not online from thurday to friday. And its annoying from that day till today coz Im heavily coughing my lungs out >.> and its always in the evening.

When I got home, the kitchen table is full of cuisines, but in one theme and its fish and vegetables. I found out that the doctor called my mother after the blood result. I ate till my stomach cant handle it (coz at the hospital the doctor said that I should not eat anything during the test u_u). I dont know the blood test result but Im sure benefiting from it.

After that my mother gave me a paper stating this:

1. Colonization
2. Infrared
3. Steam Bath

1. 15 mins. jogging in the morning
2. vegetables and fish
3. lotsa water
4. royal honey
5. (some herbal medicine I forgot).
6. always be at home at 8pm (hey it looks like a curfew to me u_u).

And I should obey all those for my own benefit or I wont live till my 30ish, said by my mother ... >.>

And after 3 months I should go back and take the blood test...

What a hassle to my lifestyle >.>

I remembered that day ... grayish clouds roam the sky ... woke up abit laggish ... everyone in the household are busy ... the other was my brother's wedding (law wedding I think) ... my tito's and tita's are getting ready to leave ... my father offered to drive them to the province (well they live there >.>) ... I, on the other hand, is busy getting the stuffs I promised "her" (cds and so on) ... its about 9:00am when my mother told me that I need to go along with them ... but I told them that I have an important task to do ... but they insisted and they promised to just drop my relatives then leave immediately ... the plan is going smoothly ... we arrive like 11:00am coz my father drove the wind ... ate lunch then we leave ... but when we are near the "Balintawak' exit ... traffic was hell (total hell) ... right there and then I said to myself "im totally dead" ... I texted her that if i could extend the time, and her besfriend needs to wait ... so its fine ... she tried to call but my cellphone's battery was almost empty im reserving it for text messages ... it got worst ... she was totally mad at me ... I could not do anything, Im stuck ... All I have to do was to accept the wrath she is throwing at me and later on explain to her ... but that didnt happened coz she said "i dont know you anymore .... have a nice life ... dont ever talk to me again" and stuffs that really gone through my heart ... I cant do anything Im just speechless ... Got home with a heavy heart and a guilt that I didnt gave my best ... That was harsh to say but I deserve it ... I humiliated her in some way ... I didnt expected those things to happen ... Im not perfect but Im trying my best ... And I cant give up now and forever ... No matter what I still do ... I still think about her ... "Is she happy?" "Is she ok?" and random question pops into my mind ... Im worried about her more than myself ... I dont know why ... I even ask that same question ... Why do I love her this much? How did I live with this? ... These questions are yet unanswered ... u_u